Wednesday, August 19, 2015

An Open Letter to My Students

Dear Students,

            There is a method to my madness.  Always.  The only validity I need for why I call you up to the front of the class to do your work, that terrifying place where judgment and anxiety collide together, is because I have been in your shoes.  I too was once a teenager who did not understand math.  Nodding along in class, passively taking notes, and praying that the teacher would never call on me described my behavior during math class until the tenth grade.
            See, I always wanted to be a teacher.  For some reason I have always wanted to get up early each morning, go to school, and help others discover and learn new concepts and ideas.  I love the environment of schools and several of my teachers became personal heroes.  But, there was one teacher that changed the way I looked, did, and thought of math.  His name was Mr. Mack, a former military drill sergeant.  And that is exactly how he ran his class.
            In the military, you are thrown from your comfort zone where your only option is to survive.  When I call you up to the front of the class to solve a problem or share your work, I know you are uncomfortable.  I was too.  Yes, you will tell me you do not want to take those five, nerve-wracking steps to the head of the class.  You will try to defy me, you’re afraid of making a mistake.  I was too.  There’s an old saying – no pain, no gain.  It is one many personal trainers believe in and a tactic used by the military in boot camp.  When you go to the front of the room, you want to do well and you’re terrified of failing – it hurts.  But there is much that I want you to gain from it.
            How do you combat that fear when, inevitably, your name is next on my list?  You study.  That’s how I fought back – I studied.  You push yourself to ask questions and complete all assignments so that for those moments when you are told, not asked, to come from the front of the room you can be proud of your achievements.  You can show off to the entire class what you have mastered, take charge, and answer your peers’ questions for a change.  That’s what happened with me.  This is a medal of honor.  Not only have you mastered the academic material, you have also conquered your fears of public speaking.  So the next time you whine and complain about me, or any other teacher, calling you up to the front of the room with the philosophy that this strategy will make you a better, prouder student, just know that we do it because it works: worked for us and will work for you.
            Now, I know that this philosophy does not work for every student and I have to make accommodations, but sticking with the military-style, boot camp image, soldiers help each other.  No man is ever left behind.  And Mr. Mack assured the same thing to my Algebra II class.  I may call you to the board and I know, that you know, not a darn thing.  And that’s okay.  I would never leave you up there stranded, but your comrades will assist you.  At the front, you’ll start by assessing the problem and a classmate could get you started in the right direction.  Maybe you find you can begin the problem and need some assistance getting the numbers and variables untangled somewhere in the middle.  Finally, maybe you’ve made it all the way through the trenches, fixed all of your mistakes and are ready to come home but you can’t find the final answer.  You can turn and look at me for help, but I redirect you to your classmates for saving.  As a troop, you and all of your classmates need to work together and finish the mission presented on the board.  I, your fearless leader, have earned my stripes.  I know the answer, I know how to not make simple the simple mistakes you are fumbling through.  Of what benefit would it be if I never let you learn from your own, personal errors?  Why would I let the class sit idly by and be an audience to an individual tutoring session if I walked you through the problem?  I let your classmates flex their muscles and jump into the action to stay warmed up, reinforcing what they already know, so that they are prepared to serve when called to action later that class period.
            Continuing this train of thought, what was the purpose of Mr. Mack, and now myself, running this math class like a boot camp?  Soldiers go through boot camp to prepare for war.  Boot camp enables them to become fearless men and women of valor that, despite being scared, are filled with courage and faith to fight victoriously through the war by relying on their basic training.  Not every battle may be won.  You may not complete every homework assignment or excel on each test.  The goal is not to win the battle but the war.  You will learn from the battles.  Learn what mistakes were made, how to avoid them, make another plan of action to do better the next time.  Because, unfortunately, there is a war.  A large one.  The school system is designed where I put you through nine months of basic training before you’re called to the media center to be placed in front of your enemy, the End of Course Exam from the country of Common Core.  Your mission is to fight as best as you can in the allotted time, relying on the skills learned in my class, to win the war over this standardized assessment and prove what you can do.       
            My plan of attack as your drill sergeant is to simultaneously teach the math content while eliminating fear from your vocabulary.  If you can solve a problem in front of a classroom filled with your peers, unaffected by the judgment of terrible teenagers and their brutal ways, accurately and confident in your skills and knowledge, then I know you can sit down, stare the enemy in the eye, one on one, and leave that media center the victorious winner of the End of Course Exam war.
            I have been there.  I am a decorated veteran.  Mr. Mack changed my outlook on math.  The fear of being wrong was shattered as he pulled me from the comfort zone of my desk and to the open field of the white board. I was completely transparent.  Everyone was going to know how little I knew about math.  But that was what I needed.  The growing pains this teaching philosophy incurred made me grow stronger.  I ended up being able to think critically and master material that I never thought I could before.  The fear of showing my classmates my abilities drove me to the textbooks each night to refine my skills and forced me to raise my hand in class when I did not understand something.  Fear soon turned to pride as fifteen-year-old Ms. Hoffman no longer dreaded going to the front of the room but was excited to demonstrate what I had mastered.  At the end of the school year, I faced the enemy.  The war was long.  Back-up calculators were needed.  And erasers were lost.  But, never was I afraid.
            To my former students, I never told you, but this is why I “traumatized” you every day.  I may not have made clear the reasons you were called upon abruptly to leave your chairs and head towards the teaching zone.  But this was why.  This teaching strategy was used on me and inspired me to become a math teacher.  If a fumbling math student like myself could be transformed into an academic all-star, then I know you can too.  My use of this method has not been perfect.  This past year, my first year teaching specifically, gave me many opportunities to refine my boot camp teaching style into a training program that worked best for me and for each class period.  Thank you for challenging my classroom management and instructional methods by refusing to come to the front of the room, interrupting a peer in a harsh manner, and making me wonder if how I was teaching was actually beneficial.  Many moments in our classes were teachable moments for both you and me.  I will always value them.
            To my present students, you can thank the troop before you for some of my changed philosophies.  I now know that it is psychologically paralyzing for some students to go to the front of the class as Mr. Mack had myself and my peers do.  When I let you go the board with a partner it is because I have learned the importance of strength in numbers.  Sometimes the company of a friend can help you face your fears head on.   When the board is sectioned off into three different columns it is because I have learned the sedating effect of monotony.  Three of you may be called to the board to demonstrate work you have completed to solve different phases of the same problem.  How much more interesting is it to see how three different students’ work comes together to solve one problem.  Lastly, when I let you come to the board armed with your notes to assist you in public battle of the problem on the board, it is because I have learned the difference between a good soldier and a great solider is how well prepared he is.  When a new concept is introduced, sometimes notes are the guidance needed to help make a new skill an old habit.
            Finally, to my future students, you have no doubt heard the horror stories from Ms. Hoffman’s class.  But, you haven’t heard my stories of the pride and confidence I have seen light up your predecessors’ faces once they have swallowed their fears and embraced the front of the classroom as a privilege, not a punishment.  I am still learning as a teacher and want to try new things.  I will not alter my boot camp inspired teaching style, but I am willing to change some of the battles you face.  I am willing to let you create your own battles – let you design problems around what interests you and letting you pick the classmate to battle it.  Or, I can give you the end result of the fight and let you figure out what the enemy did to end up that way.  Giving you the blank canvas in front of the classroom to learn, grow, and show off your strengths has proven effective, this I will not change.
            Sylvia Aston-Warner was a reading teacher who journaled her experiences teaching young children how to read by walking a mile in their shoes to determine the best methods to teach.  Where as Aston-Warner assumed the position of a five-year-old student to develop personal philosophies that would meet the needs of her young students, my personal philosophies were developed as I actually experienced being a teenager who did not understand math and changing into a student whose mathematical understanding was transformed.
            Like Aston-Warner, we both enjoy a classroom environment in which there is “volcanic energy” from students eager to assist their peers or demonstrate what they know, where the “unpredictability” of “interesting people” helps the entire class to “uncover” the individual strengths and weaknesses represented in the room so that everyone can learn together (p. 48).  Lastly, Aston-Warner and I “like the true form of living, even in school,” where students are encouraged to make mistakes, vocalize their needs, and be challenged rather than well manufactured producers of facts they will never need or remember.
            It is very possible that many of you will leave my class and never use or remember some of the math concepts that were taught in the explicit curriculum provided by the school district.  That is fine.  What I want you to learn is how to productively and effectively overcome your fears and become constructive, critical problem solvers.  This type of curriculum will stay with you, and be used, for your entire life.

                                                            With your best interest in mind,

                                                                                                               Marissa Hoffman


References

Aston-Warner, S. (1963). Teacher.

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